… came to mind when, once again, I found myself watching my mind getting lost in 6, or 7, maybe even more than 10 different strands of thoughts.

There was one about garden and gardening per se, another about gardening tasks ahead (of course the whole year, and how much it is and where to start), one about business, one about “what i should/could/must do differently”, one about a family member, one about relationships, another about health, yet another about how it is (probably difficult) to rent a flat nowadays, one about car repairs (and why this accident happened in the first place), one about “do I want to take part in XY”?, including any potential conversation that might arise, etc etc etc.

None of that was actually happening right at that moment. All these thoughts developed completely in isolation from what was actually going on in that particular now. 

In fact: I was sitting on my bed. It was quiet, dark and warm, and I felt fine.

Part of the madness lay not only in the many different strands, but also the constant jumping back and forth between all the topics. None of them were thought through to a conclusion or brought to a proper close in any way. 

It was as if an internal “zapper” would switch from one channel to the next every few seconds.

Thinking straight? Getting your thoughts in order?

Impossible. There was nothing to be made of that jumble of information - at least 99% of it made up anyway. The feelings associated with all the thought-stories came just as quickly as the leap from one to the other.

Should… ? Or bett…? No, it’s… Yes, tha.. 

Not only fragments of sentences appeared but streams of images and assertions, of half-felt emotions, flowing over one another. 

Complete confusion.

Alternating and crossing, ceaselessly.

Not quite ceaselessly.
As there was a little bit of distance to this cacophony in my head.
Presence.

It was as if suddenly a clear thought - rather a clear image - had come to the fore, so I could see what was happening. 

And as if my own curious mind had pulled itself out of the maelstrom, it wasn’t just the clamour that had died down. 

No more short films, no sound, no confusion. 

Simply quiet and soft darkness.
Rustling from the pillow, my own slow breathing, the sound of the wind from outside.

Madness. Yes.

And what an immense creative power!

Out of this silence came another clear thought.

We have the ability and freedom to create this racing of thoughts.

It’s as if we would put our hands into the stream of Thought and scoop out a portion to make (up) something ourselves.

And then another, and another, and another.

Losing ourselves in all our mental creations, we then wonder where the insomnia (or the stress or the anxiety) is coming from. 

Like the sorcerer’s apprentice, who cannot stop the brooms fetching water, we harness a power without truly understanding it. Or we at least forgot for a while how it works.

What to do instead?

An alternative to the homemade confusion might be:

Keeping a sense of calm acceptance of whatever life brings our way. 

Knowing that we have access to an Intelligence (aka Wisdom, Mind, Divine, Source...) that has the best next step ready for everything and everyone in every given moment. Gardening, car repairs, relationships, health, children, parents, pets, nature conservation, business and work – and yes, even holidays and whatever lovely things come to mind.
Nothing is too big or too small to be answered. (Remember, the universe is pretty well organised... whether we're talking about atoms, ants, humans or planets.)

And then to allow useful thoughts to arise from that space.

That’s not ‘far-fetched’, but 100% practical and reliable – sometimes it even seems magical.

How is that supposed to happen? 

Why not take your hands out of the stream of Thought and let what you’ve just read sink in.

It might just work out all by itself.

© Marlene Fuchs (marlenefuchs.ch)